It’s funny, with the whole marriage equality debate being such a hot topic right now, suddenly you are seeing these outrageous arguments creeping up, telling us why we definitely should be voting NO to same sex couples having the right to marry. Fanatics are bringing children into the debate, stating that gays breed gays. By that logic, that would mean straights breed straights. I guess that is why I have two straight parents, who between them and their new equally straight partners, managed to pop out 4 straight and 2 queer children. Yeah, that argument is bloody invalid. I could literally pick at every ‘rationalisation’ that has been raised against marriage equality and refute it, but really, anyone with at least 2 brain cells knows that allowing same sex couples to marry is not opening the door to condoning bestiality and paedophilia, so I won’t bother.
That brings me to my week. Mummy queerest over here with an incredibly feminine son. I mean, honestly this kid is as fabulous as they come. I think if the homophobes bothered to learn I existed I would be the poster child for their campaign of ‘gays breeding gays’. Of course, I have zero clue as to Oakland’s sexual preference at the age of 2, but by god does that kid love ballet, high heels and pink (not that I play into gender stereotypes or the gendering of toys and colours; clearly, our child has clothes and toys labelled as girls and we don’t give two craps). He usually does his makeup beside me in the morning and is obsessed with lip balm. So much so that he has his own that he keeps in the bathroom drawer for those chapped lip emergencies that spring up.
Case in point, we had dinner out the other night at a restaurant and Oakland was dressed nicely. We pull up, grab him out and he was saturated! Not just pants, but shirt, right up his back, even his sleeves somehow copped it. Yep, he had let out the poonami to destroy all poonamis. And somehow it didn’t even smell, so we had no clue. All I had on me was a spare tall tee. So being the ever resourceful mother I am, I opted to not ruin our night and his tall tee suddenly became a dress. I don’t give a shit. Literally no one ever assumes he is a boy, so he did not raise any questions as he was strutting down the middle of the food court in his royal blue dress and sneakers. Oh, did I mention that he is currently going through a phase where we can not get in the car unless he takes either a) his mini trolley or b) his pink toy pram? Yep, my son was slaying on the way to dinner, and I could not be more proud.
When he’s not busy playing with dolls, which I completely encourage (gee, would not want to teach a male to be a decent parent) he is usually doing ballet on his ballet bar along with Emma Wiggle, or riding around on his pink scooter covered in unicorns.
It just infuriates me to see these completely ridiculous claims with zero evidence to support them spewing all over my news feed and my television. Oakland is who he is. We give him the freedom to choose his toys and whatever activities he wants to partake in. If he thinks a unicorn looks awesome, I’ll encourage that. I am not raising him to be so close minded that he thinks he can only like blue and play with cars, and that he has to be rough and ready and can’t possibly be sensitive and open about his emotions. I intend on raising an entirely whole and balanced human being. This has nothing to do with my sexuality, it is who I am as a mother. I don’t think that wanting to raise a child to be happy and healthy is a negative. As for gays breeding gays, well if I had a choice in my child’s sexual preference, I would not want him to be gay.* My reasoning is that the world is a cruel place, particularly for homosexual men. I want to shield my child from the nastiness in this world. I don’t give two shits about the gender of the person he loves, I give a shit about the way people would perceive him and treat him based on that single part of his personality. I give a shit about his happiness and his mental wellbeing. Being gay is not easy. It is not a choice. Who would want that kind of life for their child, where they are constantly ridiculed and persecuted? Us homos know how hard this life is. We are not out there actively ‘creating’ a mini army of gay children. We are creating children just like anyone else, who may happen to be gay or they may happen to be straight. They may happen to be anything in between. The reason I don’t want a gay child is because there are dreadful people in this world that would make his life utter hell, and as a result of this the rate of suicide and depression for him would be higher. I don’t want to feel this way for my child, so how about instead of promoting homophobia and bigotry towards the LGBTQIA+ community, we take this small step towards equality, in the hopes that by the time my son is old enough to marry, he can marry a person of the gender he wants and I can stand beside him not only proud, but safe in the knowledge that he is happy, accepted by the community and not going to live a life of shame and judgment?
*Please read this blog in context. Of course I will accept my child for whoever he grows to be and I will encourage him to be that person and be proud. This is a blog highlighting the need for us to raise the next generation to be more accepting so parents won’t have to feel frightened for their children’s mental health and physical safety should they be gay.